WITHIN every queer youth lies an internal light, waiting to be seen—whether fully realized or not. A quiet spark whose fate is determined through a simple truth: it either flourishes in an environment that fosters love and acceptance or dims in the presence of fear and rejection. 

     For most of my life, this light has been dimmed. 

     As a young boy, I knew that I was different. My playful innocence was intertwined with flamboyancy. I strutted down the school halls like a European model, loved playing Chinese garter in the neighborhood, and above all, binge-watched Glee—the all-time queer telltale. But this wasn’t well received. My light was diminished, corroded by the same people who were supposed to nurture it. 

     Back in elementary school, I would often receive disgusted stares and snarky remarks that ironically came from the teachers themselves, teasing me in front of the class for the way I acted or talked. A macho-feudal household doesn’t help either. As the eldest child, there is an underlying expectation to be the “ideal son,” to play basketball, hang with the boys, and embody the traditional mold of masculinity. 

     The weight of these expectations was subtle yet persistent. Each jab, each disdained look piled like bricks onto the ever-growing wall of self-insecurity. It led me to believe that something isn’t right within me and that I need to change. And so I did. In high school, I promised to suppress who I truly was, put on the “straight” mask, and live normally. Eventually, it worked. I gained friends, was barely teased, and had a better footing in school. But I was unhappy. I gave in and conformed to society’s expectations.

      I lost my light, but I believe other queer kids shouldn’t lose theirs.

     There has been progress in LGBTQ+ reception over the past years. According to a survey conducted by Social Weather Stations in 2023, 79% agreed that "gays or lesbians are just as trustworthy as any other Filipino,” a significant increase from 63% in 2013 when the same question was asked. However, plain statistics don’t capture the nuances of lived experiences of queer individuals. Many still experience discrimination in school, the workspace, and even within their own homes. What exacerbates this fact is that queer youth aren’t exempted, with some even facing violence because of their gender expression. 

     Acceptance should not be a privilege—it should be the norm. LGBTQ+ youth should be raised in an environment that celebrates their differences and nurtures their identity, devoid of shame. Its implications extend beyond adulthood, shaping their sense of self and baseline confidence and authenticity. That is why protective bills such as the SOGIE Equality Bill must be legislated as no kid deserves to be discriminated against because of their gender. 

     Slowly but surely, I am trying to regain my light back. It is not an easy journey to unlearn years of internal doubt and indoctrination. But through my support system and the ever-inspiring stories of queer figures who live their truth unapologetically, I find hope. 

     And so, I will keep reclaiming my light, not just for myself but for every queer kid who deserves to shine.