“ONE day, the world stopped without any forewarning.” It’s been a full year of quarantine. Due to the rapid advancement in digital platforms where contents are consumed ⁠— from music, variety shows, to K-dramas where idols also appear ⁠— there’s no denying that their impact is here to stay. It’s reached globally and also, to the comfort of our rooms. In these times, it became some sort of escapism and coping mechanism when life feels like a mere routine.

Into the Unknown

It’s a labyrinth ⁠— a myriad of contents will welcome you, making it a bit overwhelming for someone who is unfamiliar with the setup. The meaning behind their discography transgresses onto us, making our lives in these times more bearable. Social media became our morning newspaper for the updates we might have missed while we were in deep slumber. There is collective participation in events like voting, streaming, and the like. People are also involved in social causes that help various communities or organizations around the world. 

Relationship Status: Parasocial 

Parasocial relationships are common occurrences once you become a fan of someone. In a way, we experience less pang in our hearts compared to real-life unrequited love. It seems one-sided because the other party doesn’t know us personally, but the love and appreciation they share with us are collective, so no one is left behind. From fan songs, live broadcasts to communicate with fans; paid subscriptions for a chat-like interaction with our idols, or acceptance speeches during award shows ⁠— they make sure we’re all included in each other’s lives subconsciously. Fans’ support is the backbone of every group’s success while they do the same for us. 

Once Upon a Fandom

Six ‘stans’ including myself share our reflections on how we become a part of another community. We revisited the time we first discovered them and the rest became history. It was during different months of the lockdown, patches of moments that are worth looking back at.

For Angel, a Fantasy, her Netflix consumption brought her to the discovery of SF9 since she is an avid K-drama watcher. Curiosity piqued her interest as she started getting to know the actors. It led her to discover that some of them are also idols. Yan, a Stay, discovered Stray Kids through fancams being suggested in her feed while Elle and I were exposed to it at a young age because of family members who are K-pop fans, too.

For other ARMYs, it was through TikTok where Cheska first discovered them which resulted in a rabbit hole of endless compilation videos. Darls also discovered them more in-depth through a friend upon hearing ‘Dynamite’ for the first time. Evidently, social media contributed to the development of our interest in K-pop, origin stories were almost the same, but not quite.

The Awakening

For some, life seemed colorless and bland before K-pop as they found it difficult to adjust to the new setup. Though routines were repetitive and patterned like pre-pandemic times, they felt heavy at times. Each of us was fighting our internal battles, there resides the stress from academics or the rumination on the uncertainty of the situation under this pandemic.

Afterwards, there was something to look forward to in days when it felt like it was draining. At the end of the day, a positive reinforcement awaits. A reward after a long day of hard work — the contents we’ve compiled to consume. Despite being confined in the four corners of our rooms, we’re being transported into our safe-havens even if it’s just a few minutes of our 24 hours. 

There is a feeling of belongingness. Face-to-face interactions may be limited, but the “stan life” made it possible to befriend new people with the same interests. The simple messages from the people we support like, “Do your best today,” “You’ve worked hard!” or “Fighting!” though not addressed to us individually (like what our friends would say to us), give us a boost to get through our days of work. We say these things to ourselves verbally or mentally, but an extra push from the people we love makes it more meaningful and motivating.

Just like any other hobbies or interests, being part of a fandom also has its downs. Conflicts between fans of different groups happen all the time. There is also immense pressure on those who are on the other side — the collectors. Entertainment companies reach out to the fans through merchandise. It’s a sight that looks pleasing when it’s complete or up-to-date but for some, it’s a struggle to keep up. Also, they might be distractors when a member suddenly posts in the middle of classes or work hours, but what is life without hindrances, right? These are normal parts of our daily lives even pre-pandemic, it just made us self-aware so that we know how to control the urges.

Others may think they are a little too late for the party, but the important thing is we’re with them in the present. The common ground is that we found them at the right time. During the early days of the pandemic, we saw the world turn gray in our eyes until hope showed like rainbows after the storm. Through these people and community, we’ve been a part of something bigger than ourselves. Following what ‘Life Goes On’ says, “Although everything is paused, don’t hide in the dark because the light will shine again.”